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Afraid to Ride Part 2

Don Jessop

Last week we talked about situational confidence, which is all about your horse taking care of you. Personal confidence is different. It's about improving your trust in your own body.

In the last article I wrote about learning to take control of the situation you're in, one small step at a time. In this article we're going to take a different angle. Last time we talked about the three stages of addressing your fear.

Remember the three stages?
1. Listen to your fear!
2. Embrace the new truth
3. Take small steps

This time let's dive into what it means to be personally confident. In other words, you're able to respond even when things aren't set up perfect, situationally.  Personal confidence means, it doesn't have to be perfect, my horse doesn't have to be completely controlled, and I still trust everything will work out. The extreme version of this is a cowboy choosing to get on a rank bronc, just for fun. That's what I call personal confidence. (Sometimes it's stupid, granted, but it still qualifies as confidence.) This is a situation where nothing the horse does bothers the rider. I'm not saying you should be that confident.  But wouldn't it be nice to have some of that confidence?

So how does a person gain that kind of confidence? Especially someone who has lost their confidence due to injury. Answer...

There are three parts to this answer:

Part 1: Stop beating yourself up. It's degrading and harmful to your growth. Every time you shower yourself with "I should be past this point, I should be more confident, I should, I should, I should," you diminish your mental energy to advance. You must stop the beating up process. Stop should-ing on yourself.

Part 2: Start building yourself up. You can't just take something away and not replace it. Smokers don't just stop smoking without something more compelling to keep them busy. Alcoholics don't just stop drinking without a reason to change. That reason can be the replacement for the void you create by stopping the old habit. Start adding in positive sentences to your life. Tell yourself, "You are where you are, and you're capable of moving forward." Keep telling yourself some version of this, maybe for weeks and months before it becomes a part of you. I've heard people say that if you have to say it then it isn't real. It's not true. It's as real as anything, it's just not integrated into your day to day yet. There is only one way to integrate positivity into your life. Practice!

Part 3: Begin to move your body. We have a whole body flow program we teach that starts off super small. By the end of the month, your confidence increases dramatically because let's be honest. Some of the fear we feel is related to our belief in our body's ability to respond to sudden changes. And recover for losses. If you believe you won't be quick enough, you'll never free yourself of the fear. You have to start proving to your mind that your body can keep up with your goals. The cowboy who rides the bronc, believes he'll adjust to the sudden changes. You have to begin the same belief pattern at a smaller scale. You must start moving your body.

In summary. Confidence is gained situationally, meaning everything is set up not to fail. But it's also gained personally, meaning you believe you have what it takes to make it. 
Take the above three part answer to heart and grow your confidence today. You deserve to live a life free of the constant fear that causes you to settle back into basic day to day life.

There is more to this story, stay connected, because next week we are diving into the difference between confidence and bravery. And believe me, it's an important distinction. 

Thanks for reading, see you soon! Don

Don Jessop - Blog Welcome

Hi! I'm Don Jessop

With Mastery Horsemanship

I write to inspire, educate and encourage you on your horse and personal journey.

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  • ​ Embrace the confidence to do anything with your horse.
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